That Deaf, Dumb and Blind Chica

Does not play a mean pinball or any other type of “ball,” for that matter.

I posted on Facebook this morning that I dreamed about going deaf and of having to learn and use sign language. Actually, I used to know quite a bit of sign language as one of my best high school friend’s was deaf and we used to communicate openly that way. Everywhere. It was rather cool, actually. I have forgotten most of it, occasionally it comes back to me and I have no idea if the things I was saying in my dream were actually right or not but I was using sign language. Fluently.

I worry about this. It’s not irrational as I am, and have been, losing my hearing for some time. I am supposed to wear hearing aids but they are very expensive (like $ThousandS of $DollarS!) and we already bought one set and they broke like three days after the warranty expired. Of course. I have been going through the process again to get hearing aids because I am tired of not being able to hear.

Some people might think I respond strangely to things that are said to me, the truth is that I probably didn’t hear you. This is why I prefer texting to phone calls and email to face to face meetings.

I Can’t Hear You.

There are a few things that go with that. I sometimes worry that people will be able to tell that I am losing my hearing by my speech. I already struggle saying Rs and Ws together. (My kids are still making fun of me for how I said Redwood River Resort for our reunion a few weeks ago. It comes out like RrrrrrvrrrRrrrsrrrt.) That’s not new. I figured out that anomaly almost 10 years ago. Sort of how Canadians say aluminum.

I make my family crazy because I can’t hear most things that are said to me. I’d like to pretend I heard but they can tell because I will say odd things. They ask, “Where are the hot dogs,” and I will say, “Maybe we can go to the library tomorrow.” It’s kind of like a math word problem.

I don’t think it’s funny but at the same time there’s not a lot I can do about it. I say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you,” A. Lot. So if I say something odd to you, like, “Pillows give me headaches,” when you asked me, “Where’d you get those shoes?” I’m sorry. I probably didn’t hear you.

Oh and I’m almost blind too…